Welcome back, batches.
This week's episode did not disappoint. There were tears, verbal altercations, cringe-worthy "romance" moments, and many glasses of wine (from the contestants and from our living room viewing party). This episode is super important since next week is hometowns.
We meet up with the gang in Brussels, Belgium. Since we last saw them, the boys have taught Farmer Chris to wear a scarf. The rest of them wear hoodies, causing Elizabeth to let out quite the exasperated sigh.
Marcus gets the first one-on-one, so he and Andi wander aimlessly around Brussels for a few hours prior to the standard dinner. It's a good thing they snacked all day, because we all know how these people don't actually eat the delicious looking food on their dinner dates. No complaints here though, no dinner + plenty of wine = many tears. Anyway, recall how Marcus was the first to play the "I'm falling for you" card? Well he won't stop saying it this whole date. He only pauses his romantic mush to tell Andi and all of America about his dramatic, borderline-abusive mommy and daddy issues. Can't wait to meet your family, Marcus! Yikes.
After the date, Nick V makes a bold, stalker-esque move and sneaks up to Andi's hotel room by exploiting Belgium's trust. I sure hope any hotel I stay at doesn't just give out room keys to the first guy claiming to be my husband, but I digress. Andi is all about the late night meetup. The two (+ camera crew and production team) mosey outside, make out a little, and snuggle. Unfortunately, no 4am "swimming" this season. Andi is following our favorite dating philosophy: when in doubt, keep it in your pants.
The second one-on-one date goes to Jockstrap Josh M. They wander around some other town that hosts daily duck parades. Josh M continues to talk in circles all day and be super vague about his thoughts and "feelings" (those quotation marks are quite intentional). He continues to tell her to trust him, which we've all learned means DON'T TRUST HIM. He actually says the words, "I promise, I'm not too good to be true." WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS HE'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. He finally tells Andi he's falling for her, so she lets the sketchiness slide and they snog some more. They have a generic private concert with a generic romantic pop song.
The group date includes Nick V, Farmer Chris, Coach Brian, and Downer Dylan. They go to a monastery that doesn't allow kissing on its premises, which means the producers were getting worried about having enough conversation footage to make the relationships look legit. She gets some time with each of the guys, but her conversation with Dylan is so boring that the producers don’t show us even one minute of it. They show the other three having a side broconvo instead of Andi's chat with Dylan. Why is he still there?
Andi chooses Nick V to spend a few more hours with, sending the other guys to go home, get wine drunk, and stew on their hatred for Nick. When he gets back, the boys all get in a little (staged) tussle. The producers sit them all down together, wipe off their merlot mouth and then say, "OKAY, FIGHT!" Nick, Brian, and Chris all earn verbal altercation points.
This week's episode did not disappoint. There were tears, verbal altercations, cringe-worthy "romance" moments, and many glasses of wine (from the contestants and from our living room viewing party). This episode is super important since next week is hometowns.We meet up with the gang in Brussels, Belgium. Since we last saw them, the boys have taught Farmer Chris to wear a scarf. The rest of them wear hoodies, causing Elizabeth to let out quite the exasperated sigh.
Marcus gets the first one-on-one, so he and Andi wander aimlessly around Brussels for a few hours prior to the standard dinner. It's a good thing they snacked all day, because we all know how these people don't actually eat the delicious looking food on their dinner dates. No complaints here though, no dinner + plenty of wine = many tears. Anyway, recall how Marcus was the first to play the "I'm falling for you" card? Well he won't stop saying it this whole date. He only pauses his romantic mush to tell Andi and all of America about his dramatic, borderline-abusive mommy and daddy issues. Can't wait to meet your family, Marcus! Yikes.After the date, Nick V makes a bold, stalker-esque move and sneaks up to Andi's hotel room by exploiting Belgium's trust. I sure hope any hotel I stay at doesn't just give out room keys to the first guy claiming to be my husband, but I digress. Andi is all about the late night meetup. The two (+ camera crew and production team) mosey outside, make out a little, and snuggle. Unfortunately, no 4am "swimming" this season. Andi is following our favorite dating philosophy: when in doubt, keep it in your pants.
The second one-on-one date goes to Jockstrap Josh M. They wander around some other town that hosts daily duck parades. Josh M continues to talk in circles all day and be super vague about his thoughts and "feelings" (those quotation marks are quite intentional). He continues to tell her to trust him, which we've all learned means DON'T TRUST HIM. He actually says the words, "I promise, I'm not too good to be true." WHICH OBVIOUSLY MEANS HE'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. He finally tells Andi he's falling for her, so she lets the sketchiness slide and they snog some more. They have a generic private concert with a generic romantic pop song.
The group date includes Nick V, Farmer Chris, Coach Brian, and Downer Dylan. They go to a monastery that doesn't allow kissing on its premises, which means the producers were getting worried about having enough conversation footage to make the relationships look legit. She gets some time with each of the guys, but her conversation with Dylan is so boring that the producers don’t show us even one minute of it. They show the other three having a side broconvo instead of Andi's chat with Dylan. Why is he still there?
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| This is why Dylan isn't a front runner. Slicked back ponytail and light wash jeans. Come on man, step up your game. |
The rose ceremony concludes with Brian and Dylan being sent packing. Both shed some man tears, aka liquid points.
Rob leads Pool 1 while Never Gonna Win Corinne trails by 25 points. Several other teams still have 2 men, so don't start counting your roses yet.
Kelly leads Pool 2 followed closely by Katharine. Tom is no longer in last place (congrats!) and is now a whole 8 points ahead of Brad.
Check out the Standings and Rosters. All are welcome over for next week's Hometowns watch. We may even have the air conditioning on by then!
Love and Roses,
Julie and Elizabeth
League Commissioners
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