The first one-on-one dates were this week, and were perfectly cute and predictable. Fake snow, hot tub, private plane, neon costumes, the whole shebang. Props to Clare for snagging the first snog of the season. And clearly Kat was a good choice for the Electric Run, because we unanimously concluded that running a 5k on a first date would be an absolute nightmare.
I must admit I am a little surprised and disappointed that Lucy hasn't caused any drama yet. I mean yeah, she's naked all the time and doesn't wear makeup or shoes, but other than that she seems pretty chill and normal. I think we all had banked on Lunatic Lucy...bummer, dude.
Why is Dog Lover's dog still around? Better question, why is Dog Lover still around? How long is she going to keep this gimmick up? She seems cray cray.
Renee is a gem and anyone who says otherwise has no soul.
Dark horse/Former NBA Dancer/21-year-old Cassandra finally got some face time this week and is kind of a decent human being...who knew? She dropped the "I have a child" bomb on Juan Pablo, but he actually seemed kind of excited to learn about her toddler son. My theory is that her baby daddy is a former "co-worker," i.e. an NBA Player from the team she used to dance for. Just a guess.
Sadly, another crazy Amy bites the dust (note to self: never name your child Amy). This week Amy L destroyed her chances of winning JP's heart by conducting a cringe-worthy mock interview. To her credit, she was probably just defaulting to her comfort zone, but it was horribly awkward and def a deal breaker.
GOD BLESS VICTORIA, AMIRITE? This Brazilian beauty shocked us all with a complete and utter drunken meltdown. A beautiful combination of betch tears, visible drunkenness and unceremonious elimination earned her a whopping 12 points this episode. The only potential downfall of her complete lapse of composure is the likelihood that no one else will get drunk again this season.
In another, slightly less exciting scene of emotional collapse, Andi had a minor freakout about appearing naked in front of millions of viewers on national television. Oh, and also in front of Juan Pablo. Considering she's one of the few Bach-ies with a legitimate career and a semblance of dignity, I'd say her hesitance was warranted. She handled it well though and she definitely should've gotten the rose over Dog Lover. Just because you wear a swim cap and get spray painted to look like a giraffe doesn't mean you'll do anything for love. She obviously did it for the dogs. (Side note: LOL @ Elise who just pawned off her own not-really-a-costume costume off to Lucy who lives for nudity anyway.)
Week Two standings, in descending order. Roster updates can be viewed here.
48 points - MC's McSluts
47 points - Elizabeth's Slam Pieces
30 points - Team Emily: My Bitches Get Roses
30 points - J$'s Dime$
24 points - Shannon
23 points - Audrey's Fetch Betches
21 points - Cooney's Cunts
17 points - Julie's Jezebels
15 points - Corinne's Circle of Bitches
14 points - Maggie
Love and Roses,
Elizabeth and Julie
League Organizers
P.S. In the interest of full disclosure, I want to alert the league to the bonus points that almost happened regarding the Victoria incident. We had seen in multiple previews that one drunk girl would wish death upon Juan Pablo while crying on the floor in the bathroom. The viewing audience decided that points would be awarded to that girl once her identity was revealed. However, the death wishes did not air during the actual episode. After a consultation with Judge Bradley, it was decided that "Wishing Death Upon Juan Pablo" points were void because we only saw this happen during a preview/extra footage, which does not qualify. Going forward, we will determine these bonus categories on an as needed basis and use majority ruling/Judge Bradley to award points accordingly.
P.S. In the interest of full disclosure, I want to alert the league to the bonus points that almost happened regarding the Victoria incident. We had seen in multiple previews that one drunk girl would wish death upon Juan Pablo while crying on the floor in the bathroom. The viewing audience decided that points would be awarded to that girl once her identity was revealed. However, the death wishes did not air during the actual episode. After a consultation with Judge Bradley, it was decided that "Wishing Death Upon Juan Pablo" points were void because we only saw this happen during a preview/extra footage, which does not qualify. Going forward, we will determine these bonus categories on an as needed basis and use majority ruling/Judge Bradley to award points accordingly.
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