Rachel Finale: I Cried My Eyelashes Off

Congratulations! We've made it to Week 10 of the ~*mOsT ~ dRaMaTic*~ season ever! It's been a wild and often annoying ride, but at least we now know who won some spare cash and bragging rights.

Because ABC no longer recognizes consistency as a positive quality, they've decided to change up the ATFR format. Is nothing sacred anymore? We're stuck listening to the mind-numbing interviews of Rachel and her exes mid-show as opposed to after. Thus, ABC is forcing us into three hours of television on a school work night.

...just in case my super salty attitude wasn't clear already.

The ep begins where last week left off; Rachel has been to the Fantasy Suite with Eric and is about to go for round two with Peter. However, in a fun show role reversal, Peter is questioning his relationship with Rachel. Turns out, he's a rational human being who feels uncomfortable giving expensive jewelry and commitments to someone he just met and probably has never seen without makeup. It's oddly reminiscent of Brooks from Desiree's season. Peter is so similar to Brooks in fact that league veteran Competitive Clare is swooning uncontrollably again.

"Can we just like date for a while."
"You signed up for this show to give me a ring. That's literally the whole point."
"I'm not proposing until I'm 100% sure you don't have student loan debt I'd be responsible for."

I'd demand a credit check and STD test prior to any Neil Lane visits. 

Rachel cries and basically begs him to propose to her. He's oddly turned on by her crying. Unrelated: isn't that one of the characteristics of a sociopath? Meanwhile, I'm oddly turned on by her voluminous and fabulous fake eyelashes.

The #drama is somewhat short lived, because they make up enough to bone stay in the Fantasy Suite.

Bryan's date is next and his Miami is really showing. They ride horses in a vineyard, which I guess is romantic and whatever. Is it just me, or is any activity that involves the stench of animal waste really unsexy? Anyway, either from the animal smell, or last night's romp with Peter, Rachel is a bit cranky. Not like noticeably cranky, but like would say "it's fine" if her bf said he was ditching date night for a football game. Bryan picks up on the delicate mood and adjusts his behavior accordingly. TAKE NOTES, ALL MY FUTURE BOYFRIENDS.

^Rachel's current mood^

The Fantasy Suite gets its third night of action, and we move on to the Week Nine rose ceremony. In a bold, possibly reckless move, Eric chooses to forgo a dress shirt and tie to just wear an undershirt beneath his suit jacket. Did he leave his only dress shirt in the Fantasy Suite and couldn't retrieve it because she was in there with one of her other boyfriends all week? This is now my focus for the next 10 minutes, until...

...ERIC GETS THE BOOT. I hope it wasn't his lack of dress shirt that did him in, but honestly I would understand. His exit interview, however, is the opposite of sloppy. He has the classiest, most heartbreaking limo interview we've seen in a while.

"I'm just going to miss her. I'm going to miss all that is her. I'm just so thankful to have experienced life with a person so beautiful as Rachel" < no, not a passage from a Nicholas Sparks book. Legit quote from Eric. In my imagination, all men say this when I break up with them.

During the ATFR interview, which we should probably now call the "Before, During, and/or After the Final Rose" Special Eric again shows us his maturity and I swoon. He spits some more of those Nora Roberts-esque lines. (Hey, Eric, call me maybe?)

"My heart was broken because I didn't have love, but [Rachel] filled my heart. I was a boy, but now I'm a man" THEN HE CALLED HER YOUNG LADY AND I DIED OF A SWOLLEN BROKEN HEART.

and I want an Eric.

Last dates week! The proposal(s) is in a matter of days, and Peter still needs a lot of convincing.

During his last sales pitch, Bryan gives her a homemade Spanish-English dictionary with a cheat sheet of cutesy, romantic words for Rachel. It's super presh and makes me almost like the guy for a second. Then I remember he's a chiropractor and go back to the salt.

"You should pick me because my mom might murder you otherwise."

Bryan is off to meet Neil Lane.

Instead of a last ditch sales pitch, Picky Proposer Peter tells her he's not about that engagement ring life...at least not until he knows her middle name. Maybe he has an elaborate flash mob proposal dream that he's worried will never happen? In any case, Rachel is crushed. He tries his best to explain and get her to come around, but neither is willing to compromise. Peter finally offers to just propose because she wants him to, which is not a reason any man should ever propose.

"I want you to WANT to propose"
"Yea, but I don't. Can we just pretend I do?"
"Commit the rest of your life and half your assets to me, and you won't be embarrassed on a Spanish mountainside tomorrow."
"No thanks. Check please."

We had high hopes for you, Peter. 

Rachel cries so much her amazing eyelashes disappear mid-scene.

I don't know what this gif is from, but its my new favorite.

Sooooo that's it. Peter pulls an unceremonious self-elimination, and Bryan wins by default. We don't even see the Bryan proposal until what feels like hours later, after the ex-couple's counseling session with Chris Harrison, Our Lord and Savior. Talk about an anticlimactic ending!! Do you know how much I look forward to seeing the loser's shoes come out of the proposal limo each year? You know, when the sun is nowhere near setting, but they're still oblivious that they've lost? I cherish that bi-annual schadenfreude and ABC stole it from me.

^Me

Eventually Bryan proposes on what looks like the windiest mountain in Europe. Rachel is giddy that she got her ring, but let's just say I don't have high hopes for their future.

As much as I've loved Rachel and her cocktail dresses this season, tonight really made me see her in a different light. I don't know if it was the editing or just the stress of the situation, but she really did seem like she wanted the fancy ring and the wedding more than the actual husband. Plus, she was condescending to Peter in their live interview. I felt bad for the guy, but he came out of this smelling pretty rose-like, so I'm sure his handsome salt and pepper hair will find a good home with some other nice lady. Maybe me? A girl can dream.

Keep on being you, Peter

That's all, folks! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Check your final season points and settle up money/wine/smack talk. Best of luck on that post-finale hangover!

We've had a blast being your commissioners once again. If you're new to the league, or just have a lot of feelings, let us know how awesome we are. Next week starts Bach in Paradise, which we will not be blogging, but probably will be hate-watching, so feel free to send your feelings then too.

Lastly, Big shout out to Corinne and Audrey for proof reading and helping out this season! May the blessings of Chris Harrison rain down upon you.

Love and Roses,
Julie

Continue Reading

Rachel Week Nine: Fantasy Despasuitos

Hi there, Eliz here. Welcome to the highlight of your week. This ep begins with Rachel throwing us a curve rose. She wants the guys to meet her family before she has sex with all of them. What a novel idea! Good for you, Rachel. I APPLAUD YOUR CLEAR-EYED STRATEGY.

Alternatively, WWTTD? (What Would Tami Taylor Do?)

Rachel: "If you wanna be my lovah, you gotta get with my fam."
Guys: -______-

Peter's up first and they go baby clothes shopping for Rachel's preggo sister, Constance. Peter understands how children's clothing sizes work and wants to dress the kids in matching outfits. HELLO MARRIAGE MATERIAL PETER I AM READY FOR YOU!!!!!

We learn that Peter's parents got engaged after a month, which means that Peter is open to The Process. Not the best logic, but we'll let it slide. He says a lot of nice things about Rachel and the whole family falls in love with him.

Constance's husband asks Peter what Rachel's weaknesses are. It reminds me of the time I interviewed at Anthropologie as a 16-year-old.

Peter: "She loves customer service TOO much, she folds clothes TOO perfectly, she's TOO obsessed with accessorizing and layering."

Peter wins, done and done and done. This meet-the-family date has set the bar veeery high for all my future meet-the-family dates.

And those standards have now been raised by Peter.

Eric is next. He's so nervous it's making me nervous. He and Rachel have a pre-family huddle and it literally ends with "okay bring it in (for a kiss)." It's so friend-zoney and it makes me fear that Eric might not get a rose this week.

Despite the ENORMOUS HURDLE of never having been in love before, Eric wins over Constance with his earnestness and awkwardly asks Rachel's mom, Kathy, for Rachel's hand in marriage. Kathy basically says, "If that's what Rachel wants, then sure. Fine." We know this answer is code for, "I know that's not what Rachel wants, but I still have to respond in a kind and gracious manner."

When Bryan gets his turn, he and Rach wear their matching watches and it's gross. I know I was all in favor of matching baby clothes, but matching watches is too much. Do less, Bryan.

You're on the slippery slope to matching GRACE tattoos, Bryan.

They go to brunch with Rachel's girlfriends, where Rachel confesses that her first impression of Bryan was that he was a douchebag. Rachel!!! You have good instincts! LISTEN TO THEM.

Bryan learns that Rachel's uncle is a doctor. He makes a mental note not to refer to himself as a physician, as he had been doing previously. Related: for a chiropractor, he has remarkably slouchy posture.

Take a cue from the Queen, Bry.

Ugh, they start talking and Bryan immediately launches into his schmoozy spiel about how amazing he thinks he is. Kathy slams the brakes on this soliloquy by asking whose side Bryan would take in a dispute between his hypothetical wife and his mommy dearest. After some serious deliberation, Bryan reluctantly chooses wife. Rachel is "low key annoyed" at her family for pointing out how awful Bryan probably is.

Kathy: "I asked the hard questions and Rachel didn't like it but THAT'S WHAT SHE SIGNED UP FOR!"

Kathy ^

This is so uncomfy to watch. The fam is grilling Bryan and he's getting burned to a crisp. In an unprecedented move, he excuses himself from the table mid-convo. Rachel's nostrils are flared wide open so you know this shit is real.

In a separate convo, Constance's husband refers to Bryan as "this individual" which really shows how much they care about him. Bryan's date ends pretty unceremoniously. He gets the same "sure, fine" answer from Kathy re: marriage.

Time for Fantasy Suites but jeeeeeez, it feels like we've been watching this for like 3 hours already. We don't usually get three family dates and I'm exhausted.

Vamos a España.

Eric's date is first. They fly in a helicopter. He looks v attractive. Especially in that pea coat?!?! DAMN SON. Real talk, I LOVE a man in a pea coat. It shows a mature and stylish approach to the very practical matter of dressing for cold weather. Like, what am I even supposed to do with a dude who throws on a couple hoodies and a rain coat when the temps dip below freezing? I can't take that guy to my work Christmas party. I can't even take that guy to Trader Joe's. But a man with a pea coat is a man with foresight and dignity and class. And with the collar flipped up? I meannnnnnnnn. Game over.

They bone (or so we are led to assume). I really like Eric but I don't think he's the one for her. Sad face.

Next, Peter and Rachel go to a winery. After lots of hemming and hawing Peter says he might not be ready to get engaged. Rachel says he better be READY AF to get engaged, or else.

Rachel: "I didn't come this far to not get that Neil Lane rock on Friday."

How Rachel feels about getting engaged.

How Peter feels about getting engaged.

We don't get to see if Peter and Rachel bone because ABC is a mean jerk. We won't know for sure until two weeks from now, after we get through the garbage ep that is Men Tell All. Per usual, we'll pretend MTA doesn't exist - it does not count for any league points and there will be no blog post. Save yourself the misery and do something productive with those two hours. Report back with the amazing things you accomplish!

This week was a pretty low-scoring ep, but check your standings and then leave me some love in the comments. I need it.

Love and Roses,
Elizabeth

Continue Reading

Rachel Week Seven: I Like Black

This week we have a guest blogger, and I couldn't be more pleased. Audrey is a Roses to Riches OG and current captain of the Chicago Suburbs Pool: We're Not That Historic. Check out her delightful writing below and leave some love in the comment section.




I am both thrilled and honored to go down in the books as an official Roses to Riches^TM guest blogger. And I am thanking Our Lord and Savior Chris Harrison that we have a regular episode this week and not a TWO-PART TWO-NIGHT EPIC BACHELORETTE EVENT. (Although I would love to have read the sassy letter that our fabulous Commissioners would have sent to ABC.)

We open on the beautiful Geneva landscape, and the pressure of The Process is growing by the minute. This is the last week before hometowns, so we will be down to our Final Four by the end of the night, and Rachel remarks that she is having feelings. It’s go-time, folks.

The men arrive at their new Geneva digs, and Eric declares that he is “feelin’” Rachel. I would comment on the rest of the opening chit-chat from the guys, but there was a local thunderstorm warning in the corner of my TV, so I couldn’t see the title cards for the first 5 minutes of the ep and had totally forgotten what Adam and Matt’s names were. That’s my bad.

Rachel invites Bryan on a one-on-one date in front of all the other guys. Awk. Adam is salty that he isn’t getting “his time,” but I’m distracted by how oddly disheveled/tired he looks in every single talking head shot this season. (See that? My film degree is finally useful!)

Rachel and Bryan hop into a Bentley, which I appreciate because I know how cheap plane tickets to Europe have been lately and the producers have been skimping on the travel budget.

Rachel: This is Switzerland so we have to go to the watch store.

Bryan: I like black

Rachel: Lolz clearly you do wink wink. *buys him the watch because that’s how she rolls*

Thrilled with their new purchases, they make out while the shopkeeper watches them. (Heh. Get it? I’ll show myself out.) And if that wasn’t awkward romantic enough for you, they make out on a boat as well, woo!

At "dinner" they discuss normal human things like where they went to school, but Bryan kind of makes it weird by asking Rachel if she went to an all-girl’s school and about her school uniform. He also thinks that Rachel would get along with his family, but shares that his last serious relationship ended because of his mother. Can you spot the red flag?

Bryan gets the rose, but I am def concerned for Rach if she ends up with him and his mom is a nightmare. They make out excessively to a lovely violin serenade. It is way too much tongue making out, but this date is classy AF and I dig it.

Meanwhile, the salty guys back at the hotel are still salty. Even Peter is mad that Bryan got another date. You are the frontrunner, Peter, stfu. The date card arrives, and Dean is up. His voice says he’s excited, but his face says the opposite – he’s worried about bringing Rachel home because his relationship with his family isn’t the best. *foreshadowing*

It’s Dean time! Rachel is rocking a beautiful blue coat, and they go to Catholic Mass in French. This is lovely and I approve 100% of all church-going activities, but if you’ve never been to a Mass before, another language is gonna be the MOST confusing.

They have coffee and pastries afterward and talk to a married couple and it’s totes adorbs. I love the rainy, romantic vibe of this date, and props to Rachel for dancing in those stilettos on cobblestones – I would’ve immediately bitten it.

Things get a little awkward when Rachel wants Dean to talk about the added pressure of The Process and how he feels, but he dodges her questions and giggles like a cartoon character. He finally shares that his father wasn’t there for him and has “become more eccentric” since his mother passed away. He doesn’t want Rachel to judge him on his family, which is a difficult adult convo to have, so I have to give Dean credit. Families are tough sometimes, yo.

Having met the “opening up” criterion of one-on-one dates, Rach gives him the rose. Dean is very sweet and funny, but he’s also young and still has some stuff to work through. Also, she made out with him wayyyy less than with Bryan. Just sayin’.

Rachel notes that as The Process progresses, things are only going to get harder and harder and she’s going to go deeper and deeper with the guys. Am I immature or does Rachel need to stop phrasing things that way? #fantasysuites

Helicopter time with Peter! They arrive at an amaze-balls glacier, jump into a dogsled, and “mush.” The glacial landscape is gorgeous, but jeez Louise it looks cold and miserable. Have you ever tried to be cute on date when you’re bundled to the gods and your nose is running down your face? Not adorable.

While sitting in the snow, Peter, like a normal human being, voices doubts about The Process but says that his connection to Rachel gets him through the “dark days.” His Wisconsin accent also comes through a bit here – must be the Midwestern-esque climate making him feel at home – which makes me giggle until I remember that I have the same accent. #ohheyder

Cut to dinner, where Peter has ice in his wine, which is fundamentally offensive to me. Unless it’s actually a brandy old-fashioned in a wine glass (Wisconsin friends, holla @ me).

My husband clearly has a man crush on Peter: “His voice is just so…low and grizzly…”

Me:

In his low grizzly man voice, Peter tells the story of how his last relationship ended, and it gets pretty emotional. I love it when a man cries about his ex during a date...said no woman ever. Peter’s honesty “scares” Rachel – she worries he won’t be ready to get down on one knee at the end of The Process AKA he will act like a normal human being in a normal human relationship.

Side note: C’mon ABC – this fake-out editing is getting a little ridiculous. We didn’t believe for a second that Rachel was the one with “tears streaming down her face.” #eyeroll

Peter wants to know if Rachel has any questions or concerns, and she just really really likes him. He says he’s “definitely along that path” in reference to the word “love.” Slow. Clap.

He gets the rose for “going deeper” and they make out on the balcony. I predict that he’s going to keep her at arms’ length as long as he can. He’s like that hot bartender that you’re really into because he’s hot but he’s def not gonna text you back and will probably hit on your friends.

Meanwhile, the next date card shows up and Dean reads it in a grave voice: “Tomorrow will be difficult. That’s all I have to say.” Adam “does not like" the word "difficult" and has “not lived by that word his entire life.” #privilege

The remaining men head off to the group date – Adam is very confident that he already has the hometown date in the bag. I, and the rest of America, are not.

Rachel: This date will be difficult, but we’re going to France on a boat!

Men: Feigned enthusiasm, not 100% sure how it’s possible to get to France from Geneva?

At the French chateau with the awkward Devil’s Foursome, Adam starts yammering again about how he doesn’t like the word “difficult.” He says things can be “challenging” but not “difficult.” He is “challenging” my last nerve. These episodes are two hours long, bro – I am not interested in your weird preoccupation with semantics.

Eric says he can see how hard Rachel works and smooth-talks her into a kiss. I’m not sure she’s into it. Matt has a conversation about The Process with Rachel, and she starts crying, so we know immediately that Matt is going home. Matt is the real MVP of the episode for asking if he can take his champagne with him in the reject SUV. You have your priorities straight, my friend.

The rest of the night is quite awkward as a two-on-one. Adam is really excited. Rachel less so. Is Adam Italian? Or Greek? I feel like he’s Italian or Greek. Either way, he gets the axe.

Eric shares some of his backstory and tells Rachel that he needs someone who will be there for him – and that he’s 29 and has never brought a girl home to his family. But he gets the rose, hurrah! Rachel tearfully tells Eric that she’s excited to meet his family. End scene.

Next week, we’re heading to hometowns, then Spain! And that’s a dope shot of Rachel in a vineyard. Can I get some of that for my Insta?

MUCH DRAMA TO COME, FRIENDS. It’s been a pleasure blogging for you all!

Peace, love and roses,
Audrey

Continue Reading

Rachel Week One: Whaboom Goes the Dynamite

Welcome back, baches! You miss us? (correct answer is yes, otherwise we'll dock points)

To be totally honest, this break was too short. After Nick's season, I was pretty frustrated with ABC and ready to throw in the towel on the whole dedicating-over-thirty-hours-of-my-life-per-season thing. Thankfully, the second the show started, my head got back in the game, and I can confidently say I'm pumped for Rachel. All it took was the melodic tones of Chris Harrison, Our Lord and Savior, and a few too many fake courtroom scenes and my passion is back. I truly think Rachel will be a nice breath of fresh air to the starting-to-stale series. Not only are her 31 men racially diverse, but most seem to actually have actual personalities, which is quite the shift from past seasons (lookin' at you, JoJo...).

My progression of emotion during the first 5 minutes of the show.

Roses to Riches is still running coast-to-coast, and once again has close to 100 participants, including some people we didn't even have to bully into playing! We've hit the big time.

Exciting addition to this season: my mom drafted a team in the league and is now in full competition mode. She didn't come here to make friends and is SUPER judgy of people who chose to be on TV. She strategized and is determined to win. It's like that time she insisted on beating me in that "fun" 5k we ran together by pushing me back and sprinting away while shouting, "SEE YA!" This season could start some family feuds.

She's going to yell at me for including that.

Did anyone else notice that Chris Harrison's hair is just a smidge too dark? The hair stylist got a little too aggressive with the dye job. Embrace the salt and pepper, bruh. You're like a fine wine getting better and more lovable with age...not that I would know about fine wine. I'm drinking Barefoot.

As for the show, a lot goes on night one, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

Introduction highlights:

• So many cheesy puns - I'm loving it and Rachel is obvs loving it. 
• Bryan speaking sultry Spanish - yes please.
• Josiah's opening video package was a straight punch in the gut - he has the most heart wrenching story and I think I speak for America when I say we all want him to succeed. 
• Penguin suit man whose name I didn't even register - at least he knows it's a penguin and not a dolphin.
• Aspiring drummer showed up with a marching band, which not gonna lie, is one of my nerdiest fantasies. Take note, boys: it takes all 76 trombones to get my attention.
• Tickle Monster practiced what he preached and led with a tickle. If I were Rachel, I'd shout "NEXT!" and argue with any producer that tried to say "wrong show."
• Blake K doesn't have to say anything, because that bone structure made my knees week.
• Fred went to elementary school with Rachel and apparently was a bit of a bad kid! He's v attractive now, and let's hope he's got his act together.
• "See you later, litigator" is my new favorite lawyer joke.
• Adam decides to go the creepy route and bring a scary looking doll. More on that later.
• Lucas, aka Whaboom, is the absolute worst. He's like that little kid who got a laugh one time and has been repeating the same insufferable joke for 30 years since. Not funny then, not funny now, will never be funny.

Overall the guys gush about how smart Rachel is, which I'm unfortunately impressed with. I say unfortunately, because this shouldn't be something I'm surprised about. They all want to take her home to their moms, which is the highest compliment, as long as your mom is not like Regina George's.

Keep complimenting her intelligence, boys.

Best suits:

• Peter is looking FINE in that blue plaid jacket.
• Josiah's grey with black velvet wide lapels makes me drool.
• Bryce is rockin' his firefighter fomals, and who can complain about that?
• Diggy is able to make a million different patterns work together...I think it's the glasses that tie it all in.

Worst suits:

• Bryan, you're hot, but get those skinny lapels outta here.
• Dean's floral skinny tie mess
• Eric gets props for being different with a tan suit, but it's just not doing it for me.
• Jedidiah thinks he can get away without a jacket....ummm no.
• Lucas, because obvi. He's worst at everything.

As the night really begins, Josiah grabs her first for one-on-one time. It's a good move, but for the REST of the night he's puffing his chest and trying to assert his dominance over the other guys. He keeps insisting HE will be getting the first impression rose. Seriously, he says it like 10 times. Bruh, you're cute, but that ego is going to need to be checked if you plan on moving forward.

Rob somehow has Bachelor trading cards...? Where do I buy those? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

Adam & his doll, Adam Jr, might take the cake for most bizarre gimmick of the night. It's hella creepy looking and the producers decide to run with it. Adam Jr is apparently French and will probably eat your soul. Rachel asks big Adam, "Is he always going to be around?" in a tone that more suggests "Are you clinically insane? Please dear God get rid of that thing." Demented looking dolls is a deal breaker in my book.

THIS IS WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF.

First true power move of the night is by Bryan, who swoops in for the First Real Kiss (+10pts!) The kiss was a little too I'm-going-to-eat-your-face for me, but Rachel is apparently into it. I'm not too surprised though, because his ABC bio said he's watched the show a lot before, so homeboy knows how to play the game.

Mohit fills the drunkard quota for the night. Probably had too many mojitos......GET IT? Sorry. I'll stop.

Milton, along with an unfortunate name, has an unfortunate affinity with purring. Yes, you read that right - he purrs MULTIPLE times throughout the night.
"At first it was funny, but then he kept doing it. Apparently purring is his *thing*." - Rachel. Milton will soon be purring his way outta the mansion.

Make that never.

Blake E, Mr. Aspiring Drummer, is already starting shit. Look, I get it--Lucas is indeed THE WORST, but night one is not the time to start arguments. Having a feud with Whaboom is only going to make the producers want to keep him longer, a la Corinne and Taylor. As my kindergarten teacher would say: ignore him and he'll get a plane ticket home.

First Impression Rose goes to...wait for it...face-sucking Bryan! (+10 MORE pts!) He's killin' it night one. Personally, I hope he can sustain this kind of momentum all season.

Some other stuff probably happened, then finally Chris Harrison awakens from his nap to announce the ceremony. Love ya, CH. Production isn't even trying to hide the fact that the sun is coming up and the "cocktail party" literally lasted all night. Would it kill them to start this "journey" an hour or two earlier, for the sake of sleep?

First rose of the night: Fab Plaid Suit Peter. The two of them would indeed have adorable gap-toothed babies together.

Final rose of the night: Lucas, despite all my yelling at the TV.

Somehow Tickle Monster snuck in there too. So much eye rolling.

Poor Milton sheds a few goodbye tears, but not for the reason you may think, aka Rachel. He's more upset about all the outfits he brought and won't be able to flaunt. Pour some out for Milton's fly wardrobe.

Sorry boutcha.

My favorite part of the entire evening is the season preview because HOT DAMN is this season going to be hilarious dramatic. I think it has to do with all the men being slightly older, but for some reason their tears seems more genuine than the 23 year old spoiled brats we've had the past few seasons. Seeing a 37 year old man cry for not getting his way just makes me light up with joy.

Double-check your point totals based on the below. If you have any questions about why points are how they are, shoot an email or text to your favorite commissioner.

Thank Chris Harrison the show is on an hour earlier next week. Your two commissioners will be hosting an awesome watch party together in Nashville next week, so if you're in town, stop on by. If you're not in town, expect a few face swap Snapchats.

Love and Roses,
Julie

Continue Reading