Andi Week Two: Balls to the Wall (literally, kind of)

Andi's Week Two: 

Forgive us: your league commissioners have been traveling for Memorial Day. We'll get our commissioning shit together eventually, promise.

Until then, we have a brief, albeit complete review of last night's episode.

ABC stabbed us in the heart this week by airing Eric's first date with Andi. Eric, who so unfortunately passed away after filming, scored the first helicopter ride (5pts) and stole our hearts. Eric and Andi spent some time on the beach, and later some time on the mountains, finally followed by a cozy evening with the ABC blankets in some producer's winter cottage (I'm assuming). Eric shared stories of his travels as we all mournfully swooned at his adorableness.

On a much happier note, the next date was a Magic Mike-style group date with plenty of naked, fabulous men. Funny, because I seem to remember little-miss-Andi freaking out because she had to get nakie for Juan Pablo. Her rationalization of this attitude adjustment is that the men are stripping for charity (just like the calendar last season). The group date men bare alllllll. The ABC censors worked overtime to blur out some quite inappropriate images.

MOST IMPORTANT NOTE: Dog Lover was back as a guest of Andi's for the show. Sharlene was there too, but DOG LOVER. Our favorite Bachelor contestant of all time.

SECOND MOST IMPORTANT NOTE: Craig got white-girl-wasted at the post-date cocktail party. His embarrassment raked in lotsa points for excessive drunkenness, as well as excessive skin when he and Nick S had their bro-dip in the pool.

Winner of the group date rose - Marcus. He shook his groove thang quite well, and managed to hold his liquor.

Third and final date of the episode was with Chris and it was hella cute.  She took this farm boy to the races at Santa Anita. ABC planted the cutest old couple in the box with them to "impulsively" share relationship advice. Chris won some hunk points (metaphorical points of course) in that bow tie and apparently impressed Andi. He earned himself a rose at dinner and........the first kiss.

Finally, we reach the cocktail party. Eric, Marcus and Chris are safe, leaving all of the other men to sweat it out in their formal wear. Except for Marquel, who sweated it out in a hot mess of a floral tie/plaid shirt/striped socks ensemble, and Carl, who wore a vest and looked like Clark Kent. Andi finally sent home drunkard Craig, fellow swimmer Nick S, and Carl (huge mistake).  She sent home hot Carl the firefighter and kept Tasos, Mullet-lamp Dude, and Buff Macklemore. Girlfriend. What were you thinking.

Points are up. We're still missing team names from many in both leagues, so send them our way when you are ready.

Next week is a huge two parter starting on Sunday night. Due to busy schedules and how expensive brie cheese is, we will likely be condensing our viewing of all 4 hours to Monday night. Expect the next point calculation on Tuesday. Hope you've enjoyed this #bedtimereading.

Love and Roses,
Julie and Elizabeth
League Commissioners